This Valentines Day, Choose Happy
by Dr. Luz Dayrit, PT,DPT
For this generation of social media, contemplating about your life and comparing it with others becomes a routine. Nowadays, it is easier to be sad than to be happy. Seeing your friend’s bigger house, your co-worker’s recent engagement, your neighbor’s recent overseas trip, the bouquet of roses your girlfriend received, or your former classmate’s new business venture; all of these could easily turn your mood upside down as you look through your life and see what you lack. Everyone feels that and that’s not just you.
Yes, you are allowed to think about that sadness and you are allowed to question your life. You are allowed to feel it. Sadness is a normal human emotion. However, after being sad, it is to more beneficial for our mental being to always chose and prefer to be happy. Give yourself a time limit for that sorrow – possibly an hour after watching an episode of your favorite series, or perhaps an entire afternoon after finishing a book, or maybe an overnight sentimental moment after an 8-hour sleep. The key is giving yourself a duration of time to feel sad.
You can think about the sadness. You can feel lonely. Sadness is a normal human emotion. However, after allowing yourself to feel it – choose to be happy.
For some of us, our worst enemy is our own thoughts. Try to consciously choose to be happy.
See the bright side of your life and thank someone. Be grateful to the universe. Be grateful to your creator or to who you believe that brought you in this world. Being sad is not wrong nor a mistake of someone’s emotions. In fact, sadness could be more of a blessing to make us better. A research done by Karnaze and Levine (2018), from the Department of Psychology and Social Behavior at the University of California, stated that "sadness is an architect of cognitive change, directing the challenging but essential work of reconstructing goals and beliefs.” Sadness gives you the opportunity to be better, to do better.
You can change what can be changed, however, learn to accept those things that you cannot. It gives you a chance to reevaluate your life, and make the conscious decision of being happy.
Happiness is not the absence of despair; it is the mastery of sadness. So just allow yourself to cry for a while, then bounce back to a happy place.
Happy Valentines Day to all !
Further Reading about choosing happiness ...
Cognitive Restructuring: Techniques and Examples (healthline.com)
Cognitive Reframing: Definition, Techniques, and Efficacy (verywellmind.com)
Cognitive Restructuring Worksheets & Handouts | Psychology Tools